Swagga
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Post by BARTLEBY BANKS on Apr 9, 2014 13:27:53 GMT -6
(I have no idea what I just wrote, I just really wanted a thread in Ikea cause OMG WE HAVE AN IKEA BOARD!) Being the veep of Delta Xi requires Bartleby to do some strange things at times. Receiving an email from the president early in the morning with it's subject being "NEED THIS NOW" causes the man to cringe a bit. He has no idea what the guy needs so urgently based from the capitalized font. God only know what he needs unless Bartleby finally opens it. He closes his eyes for a second as his hand taps on the email in his phone. With one eye peeking out he sees the word futon. 'Huh?' His eyes open up after ready to fully read its content only to find a single sentence. "GET ME A FUTON FOR THE END OF THE WEEK, OKAY?"
"Are you fucking kidding me? Cap locking asshole."Bartleby sighs with relief and disconcert. There have been quite a few occasions that the fraternity's president sent Bartleby messages that visually betray itself much like this case. But with little else to do and not much volunteer work after, completing that task immediately seemed the best thing to do.
Just a few hours later in the day, the man with the outstanding hair and rather loud personality and clothes make his way into the nearest Ikea store. Though there may be plenty of other stores closer to the fraternity, none better and cheeper than Ikea's. Sure it's just a futon, likely to replace the one hacked into pieces a few weeks back, but Bart is a classy man and the scandinavian store or self assembling furniture is more than likely to have an appealing piece that is neither too expensive or uncomfortable. They are a practical brand with practical products that also please the eye (at least to some). Though it may be out of the way, it's well worth the effort, and there's never a wrong time to be able to step into their little swedish inspired food court. From entering the man spent nearly an hour searching for the furniture along with picking up a few novelty items. Now stalling around after the checking area with his order form for delivery and a single grocery bag. It's this moment he likes to step aside and visit the food court and eat his midday meal. With the use of his memory and signs hanging from the ceiling he ventures back through the store. Just as he approaches his destination he takes a moment to stall. By taking his papers and rolling into his plastic bag, he's then able to free a hand, which otherwise would have been troublesome. He takes every little action seriously so that moments later he can have full ability to freely frolic through and get his highly desired food. Soon dear Bart soon.
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Post by WILLIAM CONROY on Apr 11, 2014 10:05:50 GMT -6
Life isn't fair. At least not for poor poor William, who suffers every day under the crushing weight of his first world problems. For the past few weeks Will has been living without a nightstand. Oh how horrible, right? His new room was equipped with only one, and it was in the possession of his roommate. Without a convenient block of wood to place his various miscellaneous possessions, Will slowly began to go mad. Maaaad! If he had to charge his phone on the other side of the room one more night he'd probably explode.
So he broke down and decided to get a new one. Just for him. Paper work for adding furniture to a dorm was already filled out, now he just needs to find a nightstand that shall match his incredibly high and needy standards. And where better to look for quality furniture than Ikea, where any kind of luxury object can be found at a reasonable price! Where helpful servicemen/women would tirelessly aid you with your every need; including (but not limited to) suffering quietly under the nagging of confused customers, suffering quietly under the berating of unsatisfied customers, and suffering quietly while taking care of your obnoxious children at Ikea's complementary childcare area. Oh yeah, and hot dogs.
(When do I get my check?)
So yeah Will went to Ikea or something. He walked around for like half an hour because he was not satisfied with the various models of nightstands he had encountered thus far. He pondered if it would be easier just to stack his text books next to his bed, at least then he would get some use out of them. Then again he would need drawers. Only animals lived without drawers! His quest continued deep into the bowels of the Ikea store. The bedroom displays were becoming farther and farther apart, until eventually he noticed that they had disappeared altogether. He was surrounded by kitchen equipment and various shelves that were stuffed with unmarked boxes. He did not remember this place...which probably meant he was lost.
~Ten minutes later~
Still lost still lost still lost still lost still lost still lost still lo-GAH! How big is this place? How the hell did he end up in the bathroom department!? Why weren't the signs leading him in the right direction! Oh God, he was going to be trapped there forever! His eternal punishment was to wander this horrifying Swedish labyrinth until the end of time! The torture he shall endure in this place shall surely shatter his mind and grind his soul into-oh look the food court. Upon seeing the entrance to the food court, William realized all this panicking had made him hungry. Time to have one of those fabled hot dog things I mentioned in the advertisement. He strode on up and accidentally bumped the shoulder of some guy with a big set of hair. Will did not apologize, in fact he didn't even acknowledge it. He was too busy joining the nearest line.
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